Cart Icon My Bag

G'Day Fellow Gonger - ( Sign in )

0 You are $ away from free domestic shipping

5 Steps to Great Hockey Hair

So your a hockey boy eh? You may have noticed over the years, that every hockey player at some point in his career, must follow a right of passage to stay in favor with the hockey Gods. Yes, the sacred hockey hair – a timeless event which usually occurs in one’s career during his Junior Hockey days, and usually once more if the superior athlete continues playing after Junior in College or Pro Leagues.  Here is the Top 5 Tips on growing hockey salad that even your hairdresser will be jealous of….

1. Circle the Calender - Hockey Hair takes time to flourish, and can not be rushed.  Take your calender out on your phone or agenda and circle the date when the ideal time for you would be to be doing laps in warmy with ReDONKulous salad blowing in the wind behind your neck.  Imagine hair flowing out your ear flaps as if you were a straw scare crow in a farmer’s field–  with a helmet jammed on your head made of straw.  Inspired already?  Circle the date (ideally around playoffs you want your hair to be performing at the top of its game).  Now here is the key – most people underestimate how long flow takes to develop.  You need AT LEAST 6 MONTHS for your hair to hit its stride – don’t cut this short, or you could be left in the dreaded “Land of in between Flow Stage” (see later point).  Now, you have a timeline and  you’re ready to start growing the hair that will make  you play better on the ice, and wheel more off of it – time for the next step!

2. Starter Flow -  Go to the hairdressers for a “Starter Flow Cut”.  Bring a picture in of some sweet flow on your phone of a NHL player if needed, as sometimes hairdressers can be plugs and just don’t get what you want – you certainly don’t want her thinking your striving for the 1990′s Jaromir Jagr mullet which was as ballsy as it gets.  Explain to her, you would like free flowing hair in the back and sides, and you just need her to clean up the sides for you so the growth can begin.  Mention to her you won’t be seeing her for a while, and that in a few months you will be back (see later point)

3. The Dark Ages Anyone that has pulled off masterful hockey salad will be the first to tell you that its not all throwing hammers (looking unreal)  while sweat whips off your flow during a scrap at center ice – there is a down time, a time so dark and scary that most hockey players fold up like a cheap lawn chair at your buddies college house – THIS IS KEY – You must fight through this dark stage – the juice is worth the squeeze  -trust those that have pulled off such flow greatness before you.  Battle through these months, which involve finding a great hockey lid (see Gongshow), patience like a Monk, and an ability to take a few chirps from the fellas…..

4. A New Birth Like a moth transforming into a butterfly, your wonderful and silky flow begins to emerge.  Slowly, a few curls develop behind your bucket, and you notice a couple strands of hair poking out your ear holes  like a few pieces of wheat grass yearning for water – you are almost there. At night, you condition your hair so that it gets i’ts nutrients to keep growing ( this is key).   At this point you may need a slight maintenance trim on the sides of your hair – do NOT let her/him take too much off, just trim the sides so you don’t look disgusting.  Compliments will flow in now,  and your on ice performance begins to improve.  Passes get more solid, your shot is more accurate – and you feel as though you could stand  your own at centre ice with the other team’s heavy.  Most of all, with your own teammates, as well as the opposing players on the ice – you notice a certain level of respect developing towards you – your flow is bringing you this respect. Its happening, almost there….

5. FLOW - You did it! Your now a certified Flowtician.   6 months of tender loving care, you battled through the dark stages  and you finally made it – you now have joined other great hockey beauties in a timeless ritual passed on from hockey players to hockey player through the generations.  Enjoy these times, take lots of pics on and off the ice, and remember to always respect the flow – don’t ever take it for granted and don’t let it get out of control.  Flow must not be left to grow like weeds, it takes nurturing and most of all – know when to call it quits.  Like any great hockey player, when you can’t grow the salad on top anymore as you get older, don’t steep to the low of pulling the SKULLET ( which is a bald guy on top and hockey hair in back, only revealed when his bucket comes off in a fight – google Al Iafrate from the 94 All star Game for 1 reason not to ever grow the Skullet).   Enjoy your salad!  Look Good, Feel Good, Wheel Good!